i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize