Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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