they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
