Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
