Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's how pantless uber rides happen
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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