I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
