You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
