well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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