Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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