you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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