i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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