The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
