We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
