just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
