i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We don't watch enough power rangers
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
