I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
