I should be sponsored by Trojan
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
