all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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