you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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