we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
im six kinds of drunk right now
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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