Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
