I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
