There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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