Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
