god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize