Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i out mim tonsoeep
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