you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
