I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
my poor anus
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
