The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
