Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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