Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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