Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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