I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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