I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
