She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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