I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
