yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
