I wish my penis had an off switch
id be glad to
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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