He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
