Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
