He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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