OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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