If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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