just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
