Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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