I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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