we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
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I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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