it was like eating out sand paper
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
