Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
