So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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