best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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