If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
