Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
