Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
