Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
