i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
