Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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