it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
