Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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