i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
