The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
