Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
