How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
