it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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