I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
