I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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